Interpersonal Skills

Interpersonal skills that are used frequently in projects include emotional intelligence, decision making, and conflict resolution among others.

• Emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize our own emotions and those of others. This information is used to guide thinking and behavior. Recognition of personal feelings, empathy for the feelings of others, and the ability to act appropriately are the cornerstones for effective communication, collaboration, and leadership.Since projects are undertaken by people and for people, emotional intelligence—the ability to understand one’s self and effectively sustain working relationships with others—is critical in project team environments.There are multiple models for defining and explaining emotional intelligence. They converge on four key areas:Self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to conduct a realistic self-assessment. It includes understanding our own emotions, goals, motivations, strengths, and weaknesses.Self-management. Self-management, also known as self-regulation, is the ability to control and redirect disruptive feelings and impulses. It is the ability to think before acting, suspending snap judgments and impulsive decisions.Social awareness. Social awareness is about empathy and understanding and considering other people’s feelings. This includes the ability to read nonverbal cues and body language.Social skill. Social skill is the culmination of the other dimensions of emotional intelligence. It is concerned with managing groups of people, such as project teams, building social networks, finding common ground with various stakeholders, and building rapport.

Self-awareness and self-management are required to remain calm and productive during difficult project circumstances. Social awareness and social skills allow for better bonds with project team members and project stakeholders. Emotional intelligence is a basis of all forms of leadership.

Figure 2-5 shows the key points for each of the four aspects of emotional intelligence and how they relate. The aspects having to do with oneself are on the top, and the social aspects are on the bottom. Awareness is on the left side, and management and skill are on the right side.

Figure 2-5. Components of Emotional Intelligence

Some models for emotional intelligence include a fifth area for motivation. Motivation in this context is about understanding what drives and inspires people.

• Decision making. Project managers and project teams make many decisions daily. Some decisions may be fairly inconsequential to the project outcome, such as where to go for a team lunch, and others will be very impactful, such as what development approach to use, which tool to use, or what vendor to select.Decisions can be made unilaterally. This has the advantage of being fast but is prone to error when compared to engaging the wisdom of a diverse set of people. Unilateral decision making can also demotivate people who are impacted by the decision since they may feel their views and concerns were not considered.Group-based decision making has the benefit of tapping into the broad knowledge base of a group. Engaging people in the decision-making process also increases buy-in to the outcome, even if the option selected may not have been everyone’s first choice. Generally, inclusion increases commitment to the decision. The downside of group decision making is the time required and interruption to teamwork that can occur when taking people away from their work to be consulted in a decision.Project team decision making often follows a diverge/converge pattern. This means stakeholders are first engaged to generate a broad set of solution alternatives or approaches. This is often done individually to avoid the effect of senior or charismatic stakeholders unduly influencing other stakeholders. Then, after a broad spectrum of decision alternatives have been generated, the project team converges on a preferred solution.The goal is to make decisions quickly while engaging the diverse knowledge of a group in an inclusive and respectful manner. Some decisions may be made in a different direction than some people prefer, but everyone has an opportunity to explain their position. In the end, the deciding authority, whether an individual or a group, makes a decision based on the presented analysis and with consideration for stakeholder expectations.Careful selection of which decisions should go for group discussion and voting limits the interruptions and task switching experienced by the project team. Many approaches such as Roman voting, wideband Delphi estimating, and fist of five voting use the diverge/converge pattern. They aim to engage individual input while voting at the same moment, which minimizes groupthink.For those decisions that are beyond the authority of the project team to decide, the project team can investigate alternatives, consider impacts of each alternative, and escalate the decision to someone with the proper authority. This process aligns with the philosophy of “don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions,” while remaining aligned with organizational governance regarding decision-making authority.
• Conflict management. Conflict happens on all projects. Projects operate in dynamic environments and face many mutually exclusive constraints including budget, scope, schedule, and quality, which can lead to conflicts. It is not uncommon to want to avoid conflict, but not all conflict is negative. How conflict is handled can either lead to more conflict or to better decision making and stronger solutions.Addressing conflict before it escalates beyond useful debate leads to better outcomes. The following approaches can help:Keep communications open and respectful. Because conflict can cause anxiety, it is important to keep a safe environment to explore the source of the conflict. Without a safe environment, people will stop communicating. Make sure words, tone of voice, and body language remain nonthreatening.Focus on the issues, not the people. Conflict is based on people perceiving situations differently. It should not be personal. The focus is on resolving the situation, not casting blame.Focus on the present and future, not the past. Stay focused on the current situation, not past situations. If something similar happened previously, bringing up the past will not resolve the current situation. In fact, it can serve to intensify the current situation even more.Search for alternatives together. Damage incurred from conflict can be repaired by looking for resolutions and alternatives together. It can also create more constructive relationships. This moves the conflict into more of a problem-solving space where people can work together to generate creative alternatives.

There are several models for addressing and resolving conflict. Some of them are discussed in Section 4.